Breast Cancer Awareness Month always makes me think of my grandmother who battled cancer for many years.
Nanny, the name I called my grandmother, was 40 when she was first diagnosed with cancer.
It is difficult for me to recall a time when I was growing up that Nanny wasn’t sick. I desperately try to remember moments when she was not in pain or sick but the moments are few and far between.
However, I did manage to salvage a couple of good memories. One of my favorite memories with Nanny when she wasn’t sick or in pain is about the time we would spend together after school each day when I was in second or third grade. Nanny was determined to teach me how to tell time with a funny teapot shaped clock on her kitchen wall. The clock frustrated me because the numbers were roman numerals but Nanny would tell me to visualize the regular numbers but more importantly focus on the hands on the clock and their positions.
Even though the clock frustrated me, I enjoyed the time we spent together learning to tell time. I think it is ironic that I remember a moment about time when time is what Nanny had in short supply.
Another lesson I realized later is that we see one thing like the roman numerals but should look beyond what we see on the surface and visualize the bigger picture.
Over time, Nanny continued to decline as her cancer would spread from one organ to another always resulting in another hospital stay and the removal of another cancer riddled body part which brings another memory back to life. The memory will forever be etched in my mind. It was the time I spent the night with Nanny a couple of years after both of her breasts were removed. I remember she changed into her nightgown and I saw that her breasts were gone. In their place were two sunken in areas. I stared at her chest and as a child will do I questioned what happened to her chest. Nanny allowed me to touch the area that used to be her breasts and explained to me that cancer had taken her breasts away from her but she was alive and able to spend time with me which was more important to her than her breasts.
I can see clearly now how strong willed and determined by grandmother was and realize it more and more in my own self especially considering I am now 1 year older than Nanny was when she was first diagnosed with cancer.
I do fear that I will develop breast cancer one day but I pray if that comes to pass I will be able to be as strong willed and determined as Nanny was and that I can show my child that strength and perseverance.
Nanny died at the age of 60 after another long hospital stay and the removal of more cancer riddled body parts. My son never had the opportunity to meet his great grandmother but I know she would be proud of him for his actions last week when he, a boy age 7 who has always thought pink and purple were for girls since he was 2 years old, decided on his own that he would wear a pink shirt to school. The pink shirt had the pink ribbon on it and stated it was for breast cancer awareness.
Spencer, my son, stated he didn’t care if the shirt was pink or not because he was going to wear it to show his support for cancer awareness.
I, of course, agreed to let him wear the shirt because he too is strong willed and determined and who could resist such a stance and say no to his overall awareness and compassion?
At the end of the school day, Spencer informed me that one of his classmates, a girl I am sad to say, told Spencer he was embarrassing wearing a pink shirt. Spencer stood up and told the girl that he didn’t care what she thought because he was wearing the pink shirt to show his support for cancer awareness and that his great grandmother died from cancer.
My heart beamed with pride for my son who at age 7 is so much wiser than I was at age 7 sitting in Nanny’s kitchen learning to tell time. I know Nanny smiled proudly that day in heaven as she heard her great grandson say he was wearing pink in her honor.
Thank you for allowing me to share a tidbit of my story about the importance of breast cancer awareness.
Rhonda
